Depression and Loneliness

"Often our monuments of greatest triumph in life serve as precursors to our moments of greatest temptation."

There probably wasn't a Jew in all of Israel who didn't know the name "Elijah" - especially after his flashy victory over the prophets of Baal at Mount Carmel. When the worship of YHWH was forsaken for the pagan fertility gods of Baal and Asherah; when false prophets had swayed the populace in favour of popular culture; when even the nation's leaders had forsaken their duty to uphold integrity and justice - one man held his ground.

Against all odds, this peculiar wilderness prophet - clothed in camel's hair and sustained on a diet of wild locusts, stood before 450 members of the opposition and boldly challenged them to a showdown. The contest would determine once and for all, who was the true God worthy of the Israelite's love and devotion. The offering was bulls; the anticipated verdict - fire.

In the most anticipated pay-per-view event of the century, spectators lined up along the mountainside as two large, yet distinctly different altars were erected. As the representatives of the reigning champ encircled their altar, there was singing, dancing and ceremonial cutting - no fire.

And just as all of the competition's efforts had resulted in little more than blowing smoke, YHWH brought the heat. Columns of flame descended from the heavens, setting the evening sky ablaze. The stench of burnt flesh as the offering was consumed, filled the nostrils of the opposition, who only moments before had held their proud noses high in indignation. The matter was settled - YHWH was God; Baal was not.

Nation-wide repentance, revival…whatever you want to call it. Israel's God had won an immense victory that day through the hand of his servant Elijah. In a Cinderella-story come true, the underdog had conquered all odds - holding fast to his beliefs, silencing the proud mockers and of course, saving the nation. However, what follows after is not the royal wedding, celebrity status or sandal endorsements you might have anticipated.

1Now Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, "So may the gods do to me and even more, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time." 3And he was afraid and arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. 4But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die, and said, "It is enough; now, O LORD, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers."

 5He lay down and slept under a juniper tree; and behold, there was an angel touching him, and he said to him, "Arise, eat." 6Then he looked and behold, there was at his head a bread cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. So he ate and drank and lay down again. 7The angel of the LORD came again a second time and touched him and said, "Arise, eat, because the journey is too great for you." 8So he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mountain of God. (1 Kings 19)

Elijah had won an immense victory over the external obstacle of idolatry at Mount Carmel - true. However after the gathering had been dismissed, even as the sound of distant raindrops began to resound on the mountainside, Elijah's true battle was only beginning.

For every battle that is fought in the real world, there is always a corresponding internal battle which wages within the heart and mind of the minister. What could cause a mighty man of Elijah's accomplishments to quiver with fear and fall into depression? Perhaps we forget at times that servants of God are human as well - subject the same frailty and struggles that we all face.

I have found that my greatest times of weakness in life and ministry have always been immediately following a great victory. Some of the lowest times in my life are after a rally, retreat or powerful meeting. This is often the time when people return home, blessed, full of joy and right with God. However it is at this same time that the minister often goes home empty, dry and exhausted. These are by far the loneliest times in my life, and I see them again and again in the lives of people in ministry.

Elijah's complaint after Mount Carmel:

"I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away."
(1 Kings 19:10)

Jesus after a full day of ministry:

Instead he went out and began to talk freely, spreading the news. As a result, Jesus could no longer enter a town openly but stayed outside in lonely places. Yet the people still came to him from everywhere.
(Mark 1:45)

Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
(Luke 5:15-16)

Paul's request for companionship:

Make every effort to come to me soon; for Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica; Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia. Only Luke is with me. Pick up Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service.
(2 Timothy 4:9-11)

Loneliness and depression are internal struggles that wage war in the hearts and lives of many of us to varying degrees. I guarantee no one in Israel was aware of Elijah's plight under the juniper tree that evening. Sadly that's how many of us fight the same losing battle.

I once read that each person has three fuel gauges within themselves. One is physical, the second is spiritual and the third is emotional. Supplementing emotional fuel with more spiritual feeding is like putting diesel into an unleaded car - the engine's just not gonna like it. I’ve heard people tell me before that "in those times all you have and need is God". And to be honest... frig. I don't know if I totally agree with that. I think accountability and fellowship are two key answers to depression and loneliness, especially after intense service.

Once again, pastors, parents, teachers, leaders and everyone in between are still people - not spiritually enlightened beings who don't need to eat and drink. They have feelings and still know how to cry. Loneliness and depression need to be fought with real solutions. To respond to loneliness and depression, I might recommend a few solutions:

1.      Fellowship

When Paul found himself isolated and lonely in prison, he requested the presence of a few good friends (Timothy and Mark). Honestly, there's no supplement for strong accountability. There's no such thing as a lone ranger in the Kingdom of God, and we need to support one another. Whether you're Christian or not, you need a few good friends to pick you up when you're down and when the need arises, offer a shoulder to cry on. If you don’t have any - get some! If you have absolutely nowhere to start - leave a post =)

2.      Prayer

Jesus' response to loneliness was to use it as an opportunity to draw closer to God. Honestly, prayer can feel like the last thing we want to do at times, but God is really always there. My man Joshua Harris in I Kissed Dating Goodbye talks about using every season of singleness as an opportunity for greater dependence upon and service of God… Yeah, I'm not sure if that one works, but whatever. Try it and let me know if it works, I'd prefer the girlfriend.

3.      Good food and naps

Honestly, not the most spiritual solution, but maybe that's why I love it. Elijah had two good meals and two good naps. Sometimes we're just so consumed with work that we just don’t take the time to slow ourselves down and reward our bodies. Personally, I’ll throw in a shower and mindless kung-fu movie with crappy subtitles, and I feel like a new man.

No Toleration

“I suspect I’ve got more in common with Jezebel and Ahab than with Elijah. I’m working to build a tolerant, pluralistic society that respects other faith traditions. I’ve devoted ten years of my life to calling the church to repentance and transformation, on account of its homophobia and heterosexism, its narrowness and its prejudice. I don’t have any sympathy for the austere Yahwehism of the prophet Elijah and his quick to kill and “throw to the dogs” invocation of judgment and divine retribution. Elijah would have stoned me without a second thought. Jezebel was an enlightened woman – I reckon she’d give the likes of me a fair go.”

Dr. David Bromell
Pentecost Sunday Sermon, 1998.
Methodist Mission Church, Christchurch.

“Behold I am going to send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord. And he will restore the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers lest I come and smite the land with a curse.” (Malachi 4:5-6)

“Nevertheless, I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel who calls herself a prophetess. She leads and teaches my bondservants astray so that they commit acts of immorality. I gave her time to repent and she does not want to repent of her immorality. Behold I will cast her upon a bed of sickness and those who commit adultery with her into great tribulation unless they repent of her deeds. And I will kill her children with the plague and all the churches will know that I AM HE who searches the minds and hearts and I will give to each one of you according to your deeds.” (Jesus Christ, Ruler of the kings of the earth and Husband of a pure bride, Rev 2:20-23)

The dream was so vivid. In it, my young friend dreamt that he was about to be married to a well known seductive entertainer. She knew she had him wrapped around her finger. Her powerful spell of seduction began to take control of him. Suddenly he came to his senses. “I know who you are! You are Jezebel!” he shouted out in the dream. The demonic spell was broken. This dream changed this young man’s life forever. He repented from a love for the world and now stands as a holy testimony for God, even as he works in the midst of Hollywood’s seductive entertainment culture. America as a nation must come to such an awakening as this young man.

As it is in America today, so it was in Israel in the days of King Ahab.

Elijah was determined to turn back the nation to God and his message was for repentance from compromise with the spirit of Jezebel. “How long will you halt between two opinions. If Baal is God serve him, but if God is God, serve Him.” Summed up, Elijah’s revolutionary challenge to his nation was, “NO TOLERATION!” The same command of God can be heard 2000 years later where the spirit of Jezebel is exposed in the Church at Thyatira. Jesus dictates a strongly worded letter to them:

“To the angel of the church in Thyatira write: These are the words of the Son of God, whose eyes are like blazing fire and whose feet are like burnished bronze. I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first. Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess…” (Rev 2:18-20)

In the midst of a church tolerating sexual laxity and promoting a casual approach to sin, God says, “I have this against you, you tolerate the woman Jezebel who seduces my bondservants into sexual immorality.”

“..the eternal Word specifically described Himself as “He who searches the minds and hearts” (Rev 2:23), for it is in the inner sanctuary of our private soul-life where tolerance to Jezebel begins. It is here, within us, where tolerance must end… This spirit was sitting in the church in Thyatira when it was exposed by the Holy Spirit nineteen hundred years ago. It still has its favorite seat in church. There are respectable men who love God and who seek to serve Him, yet secretly in their hearts are prisoners of Jezebel. Even now, they are deeply ashamed of their bondage to pornography, and they can barely control their desires for women. Ask them to pray and their spirits are awash with guilt and shame. Their prayers are but the whimpers of Jezebel’s eunuchs.” (The Jezebel Spirit by Francis Frangipane)

We all know the story of Jezebel perched in the window with her make-up on, trying one last time to seduce her way out of judgment. (2 Kings 9:30) Jehu looks up at her in the window and commands her eunuch attendants to throw her down! Hundreds of years later, Jesus said that the eyes are the windows of the soul. If someone were to gaze into your eyes, what would they see? Would they see Jezebel and her seductive compromises enthroned there? “Or would they see the burning One with pure blazing eyes of fire and feet burnished with bronze?” (Judah Smith) This is the New Testament description of Jesus when He comes to confront the sexual compromise in the church.

“I will set no vile thing before my eyes.”(Psalm 101:3) “Death has climbed in through our windows… it has cut off our children from the streets.” (Jeremiah 9:21) Our eye windows are particularly vulnerable in this age of technology. We are flooded with images. Most of us take this for granted as a part of daily life, yet we forget that until little more than a century ago, photographs did not even exist and the only visual images people ever saw were those drawn or painted by artists. This severely limited the amount of visual information a person had to process. It also meant that the tide of pornography as we know it today was unthinkable back then. As a generation that has been born in this climate, we hardly even notice the vile thing it is! I am preaching to myself as well as to those who read. The pastors and leaders of this nation are being called to be the first to repent.

“Then he said to me, son of man do you see what the elders of the house of Israel are committing in the dark, each man in the room of his own carved images.” (Ezekiel 8:12) If God were to dig in the dark room of our own imaginations what photographs would he see there?

I urge you, in the fear of God, to examine your “windows.” What have you been watching? Are you irresistibly drawn to those sites on the Internet that are perverse and defiling? Are you addicted to pornography? Have you been seduced by entertainment and computer games? Let me ask you, “What’s in your imaginations?” The spirit of Jezebel works in the imaginations. Don’t say, “Oh, I can handle this.” Listen, if you let that seed get in your heart, it will kill your prophetic fire with its little compromises. Pornography is toleration. Homosexuality and fornication are toleration. Books, magazines and movies that allure our hearts away from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ are all tolerations. Rebellion toward parents and leaders are toleration. Is this struggle going on in your soul? God wants to set us free! Go and see your pastor or someone in leadership today and confess your sins i! f you are in bondage to these things. Thank God for his mercy for if God counted sin, then who could stand? I boast alone in the great mercies of God. And may God show mercy to this nation.

“Jezebel’s worst enemies are the prophets; her worst fear is that the people will embrace repentance. Jezebel hates repentance.” (Jezebel Spirit, By Francis Frangipane)

In a culture saturated with sexual sin, Elijah strides onto the stage of history and confronts Jezebel only to find himself under her very spell. On a 40-day fast he breaks the power of that spell and unleashes a new generation of leaders to end her vile reign. If Elijah is coming again before the great and terrible day of the Lord, then we know that Jezebel is coming as well. The 40-day fast is the mighty weapon to break her spell of addictions, sexual bondage, mental torment, suicidal thoughts, disorders and diseases. What would happen in America and the nations if tens of thousands of fathers and mothers, the Elijahs of today, fasted for 40 days intensely repenting and cleansing themselves of inward toleration of sexual immorality, addiction to entertainment and spiritual apathy? What if these parents prayed for their children for 40 days to break off rebellion and release revelation of the Lord into their hearts? What if a young genera! tion of Elishas fasted for 40 days to be cleansed from lust, TV addictions, pornography, spiritual mediocrity, and rebellion toward their parents believing that a double portion of the Holy Spirit will rest on their lives?

What would happen if tens of thousands would pray Song of Solomon 8:6? “Lord, put your fiery love as a seal over my heart, capture me with your vehement flame of love, a love stronger than the flames of lust. Send this fiery love over a whole generation, a love that many waters cannot overflow.”

This is the Lord’s answer! The earth will experience spiritual convulsions, the powers of darkness will tremble and the children of God will break forth with freedom and a great light of spiritual awakening will dawn all over the earth.

Lord, right now I release Elijah’s 40-day fast for freedom and deliverance. And may there be a shout in the nations, “No Toleration!” In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Women of Worth

Psalm 133 (ESV)
Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!
It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard,
on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes!
It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion!
For the the LORD has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.

Virginia Tech president: Shooter was Asian student

Yesterday, the record for the deadliest shooting in American history was broken by the tragic events which took place at Virginia Tech. An Asian male student who was a resident at their dormitory, opened fire upon classmates and teachers alike, slaying 30 people, before turning his gun on himself and committing suicide. Many students were wounded and are receiving treatment. However, the true scars that were left that day are not gun wounds, but wounds upon the very hearts and souls of those involved.

Something happens in each of our hearts and lives when we witness events like these on the news. The question arises, "Where is God in the midst of these sorrows?" In response, I suggest the question "Where was the church in the midst of these sorrows?" Yes, that's right - I believe a great deal of responsibility rests upon our shoulders. Where were the Christian students to carry the gospel to this Asian male? Today over the news, this young man is known simply as "the shooter". What we so often forget is that this student had a name; he had a family and dreams and ambitions for the future. He was a real person, with real hurts and pains within his life, just like the people we pass by and interact with on a daily basis.

The shooting rampage was a cry for attention. Try to understand the hurt and pain he must have endured, which caused him to bottle it up into the barrel of a loaded gun. Whenever these types of events happen in the news, we try to attach names to the perpetrators; we call them killers, lunatics - monsters. I disagree. These people are human beings. We each have the capability and potential to do wrong things within our lives; we have the tendency to make decisions in our lives which inadvertently hurt other people. No, this student at Virginia Tech is not a monster - he's achild of God who made wrong decisions and desperately needed the hope we have to offer.

One criminologist hypothesizes that the killing motivation of this student was failing a subject or important exam/assignment. Once again, the gods of education, success and pursuit of the American dream prevail. How many students today bear the burden of striving after success and riches, yet are living an empty existence inside? Unless you've experienced it first-hand, you will never comprehend the pressure placed upon many Asian students to pursue their parent's dreams and become successful in life. Imagine years and years of negative reinforcement from dictative parents. When your worth and acceptance in life is placed in an insignificant mark or grade point average, then sure - I can understand how a failed subject can be the end of the world.

But it's not the end of the world. What is a failed exam anyway, other than another chance to pick yourself off the floor and learn from your mistakes? The words of Jesus echo softly for anyone who is willing to hear: What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and yet forfeit his soul? Life is so much more important than the food we eat, clothes we wear, jobs we get and cars/homes we own. Sadly to some, life has become the pursuit of these eternally inconsequential matters. Sure, some people will argue that these things are important when you're living in the REAL WORLD. My advice? Fine, go ahead and pursue them - but don't lose your soul along the way; don't lose the special part of you that makes you, you. There is so much more we were all meant to live for. Let's just make sure we don't miss the entire forest for a single insignificant tree.

Today my prayers are with the friends and family of Virginia Tech. Many students remain traumatized by the events of yesterday's shooting. Many parents are gripped by fear and concern for their students who remain at the school. While still others, the friends and family of those involved, are mourning bitterly for their lost loved ones. I can only pray that God might grant peace and mercy to those who have been affected by this turn of events. My prayer is also that the church might rise up to proclaim the message of love and forgiveness that Christ so painfully purchased for all upon the cross. Imagine the impact the knowledge of forgiveness would have made within the life of that one Asian student after he flunked his course? Now imagine the same, powerful impact you have the potential to unleash upon an unsuspecting, hurting person today. God bless you and have a great week.